are you so shy because you have an std?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
