oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
