My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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