The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
