Plan B is the new Plan A
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
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