So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
