so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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