if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize