Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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