Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
