it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
