Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
