Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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