That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
