pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
