I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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