the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
