Don't you send me to vm
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
