yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
