Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize