She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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