I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
