I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Couch. On fire.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize