haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
