just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
