she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
