is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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