there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
if i died would you start the facebook group?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
