Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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