Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
