The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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