yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
