Dual....:-)
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
