if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
