you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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