I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
