would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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