I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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