she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
