Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
