she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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