forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
