I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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