Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
