There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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