Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
