Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
