I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
