when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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