i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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