It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
