forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Shame is for Republicans.
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