Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
