quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
