look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
