yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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