this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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