I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Come on in and take your pants off
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