Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
