Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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