oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
