dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Your cock deserves a montage
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
