I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
i've created a new STD.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
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