I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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