I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
