good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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