Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
