You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
